How To Talk To Women Successfully
If you’re like most men, you want to know how to attract women and this means knowing how to talk to women (because unless you’re a really talented Mime, you’re not going to get very far). You want to learn the skills necessary to take your pick of quality women rather than settling for whatever crumbs are left on the table by other men with skill? If you would like to be a man of many options, you may wish to have a look at the following tips on talking to women that will help you build powerful conversation skills…
Don’t Make This Mistake
If you’re having trouble in this area, it may well be because you are making the common mistake of getting into the “approaching mode”. But what does this mean? The “approaching mode” means that each time you see a woman that you are attracted to, your mind and body shifts. To begin with you feel nervous, under pressure, you begin scrambling for words, and you start worrying whether she will reject you…
Does this sound familiar? If so, you may believe that every other man in the universe feels the same way… even those men who are experts at talking to women. This is true. Even men who have mastered the art how to talk to women still get butterflies in their stomachs when they approach a woman they are interested in. The difference with these guys is that they know how to approach women in a completely natural way. They hide any and all signs of their nervousness. They speak to women that they are attracted to in exactly the same way as they would speak to their friends. In other words, they do not show the fear and anxiety and all of the other emotional baggage which plagues most men.
Why is this, and how do you get yourself into this kind of mindset?
What you need to do is work on your mindset. Prepare yourself for rejection. According to Northwest University, women are a LOT more selective than men so it’s simply natural for there to be a chance she’s going to blow you off. Now, who knows why she may reject you? Maybe she’s in a happy relationship. Maybe she’s gay. Maybe she’s into 7ft Asian basketball players . Who knows? The bottom line is that you shouldn’t invest too much in the outcome of the approach and this will definitely help you overcome any insecurities you may be feeling.
It’s not common knowledge, and for this reason many men go about it the wrong way. Especially with their opening lines. Men compliment a woman on her looks, ask her name, and then they try to direct the conversation towards getting a date, or their phone number. Most men make the mistake of placing themselves one step below the woman when flirting with her and this is certainly NOT the best way to talk to women.
The interaction then proceeds to be like a business deal. Men try to close the deal and completely deprive the interaction of any kind of mystery, playfulness, or romance. In other words, men are too busy thinking like men. They are bottom-line thinkers who like to go straight for the kill!
However, the female species are much more indirect and favor their interactions with men to be natural, with a sense of mystery and indistinctness. Nevertheless, men do not prefer this tactic and wish that women would be more direct about what they want. For this reason, men have no idea about how to talk to women or how to attract them.
It is important that when you learn to talk to women that you learn to do things differently, if you want to achieve different results.
Mastering the Art of Indirect Communication
One of the secrets of communication is to be able to send mixed signals and to build mystery, curiosity, and suspense? This means that you should communicate as if you are not interested in them, but at the same time you give them small subtle signals that inform them that you are interested in them. For instance, when you talk to women online or offline you want to give light touches, or playful little jabs that suggest you may be attracted to her. However, ensure that you leave some mystery.
Women find the art of indirect communication mysterious, challenging and attractive. These things may frustrate a man, but they are essential to knowing how to talk to women.
6 Steps To Effective Conversation
1. As I mentioned before, you need to get rid of your fears and just accept the fact that you may get rejected. Don’t let it bother you. There are literally, a million fish in the sea, so when one turns you down, move right on to the next.
2. If you’re really shy, try memorizing a list of ice-breakers or conversation starters. Some common questions you can start conversations with are:
“Where did you grow up?”
“What kind of job do you have?”
“What kind of music to you like?”
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
Honestly, these aren’t the best ways to start a conversation, simply because these questions are what most guys ask and women are bored with them. BUT, if you’re really shy they may help you get started.
There are also situational conversation openers. Look around the room and find something you can comment on. Is there a game on the tv? Is someone dressed really funky? Is she drinking a strange drink? Is she on a laptop (you can ask her how she likes it because you were thinking of purchasing one)?
Try to ask her questions that are open-ended so she can’t simply say yes or no.
3. AVOID talking to women about these subjects:
Past relationships, sex, religion, politics, or any other topic that could lead to a potentially heated argument.
4. Let her know that you’re interested in her. When you’re talking to women you MUST actually LISTEN to what they are saying. Pay attention to what she says and respond accordingly. Ask her follow up questions so she has to explain herself more. Women love to talk (a lot more than men) and when you show her that you are listening AND you open up the conversation so she can talk more, she’ll be eating out of your hand.
5. You must remember the power of the compliment. Give her COMPLIMENTS–but not too many. Tell her she’s got a great laugh or smile. Tell her that she’s got a great sense of humor. Compliment her hair, eyes, smile and teeth. Compliment her on her shoes, dress or jewelry. When talking to women you’re interested in it does wonders for your chances when you compliment her sweetly. Just don’t compliment her on parts of her body (like butt, legs, muscles, etc.)
6. You want to maintain eye contact but don’t stare. Look her in the eyes when she’s talking or when you want to make a point. Hold your gaze for a few seconds to make that connection but don’t stare. Also, don’t look all around the room when you look away. If you fidget and look all around the room it makes you look nervous and unsettled which will make her nervous and unsettled.