How To Pick Up Women: The 4 Rules For Success

August 4, 2010 Comments Off

The art of learning the pick up is something that all men wish to master. I mean, why wouldn’t you? If you can master the pick up, you’ll never be alone again.

The first thing that you need to make sure you’re doing is, in fact, making the effort to develop a skill that 99% of the male population is clueless about. So it’s what every guy wants to know, but very few actually do.

The first thing to understand is that knowing approach and attraction is not some mystical gift that you are born with or without. You can learn how to do it. Even if you only learn the basics then you will still be head and shoulders above most men you are competing with.

Don’t Be This Guy

This is not an impossibility. So don’t get discouraged. It’s doesn’t require some magical potion. Rather, it is a skill that can be learned. And, just as with any other skill, through consistent practice and measuring of what is and what is not working, you can master it. However, to get you started off on the right foot I have listed below three critical, basic rules for picking up women which will assist you in further learning the necessary skills.

Of course, you could always hire a wingman to help you learn how to pick up women if you’ve got a few extra bucks. I recommend you learn how to do it yourself but if you can afford a service like this then look into it. I’ve never done it and don’t know anyone who has, so be careful and do your due diligence before you hire anyone.

Rule #1. Go Where the Women Are

This advice may sound simple, but, a majority of men make the simple mistake of trying to approach women in places where the competition is too high.

For instance, bars and night clubs. These are places where women tend to get hit on by 50 guys per minute when they are just trying to hang out with their friends.

It is of course true that these particular locations may be good if you are looking to get practice, but not if you’re really interested in achieving quality results.

However, when you begin approaching women in unsuspecting places such as parks, coffee houses, bookstores etc, you will find that there is a lot less competition and your success rate will skyrocket.

Rule #2. Build Trust First

Being able to build trust quickly is one of the greatest secrets to the pick up. But how do you do this when it is clear that you are approaching her for only one reason? Simple, do not approach her until you have built trust. For instance, if she is sitting in a book store reading a book, sit in a chair close to her. After a few minutes, you could tell her that you are going to the bathroom and ask her to watch your stuff (laptop, coat, books, etc). You could say, “excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you, but could you keep an eye on my laptop? I’ll be back in a sec. Thanks. By the way, my name is Dave” then when she says her name, you say “nice to meet you Staci.”

This will give a subtle message that you trust her, and extending trust to people generally inspires them to reciprocate trust. On your return, you of course give your thanks to her again, which will most likely make her more open to further conversation.

TIP: You could make a joke out of the situation by telling her that you are ‘going to make a phone call, and if anyone touches your laptop, she must tackle them’. It should be easier to engage in conversation with her after this, and then you can move on to the last step.

Rule #3. Use the “Gotta Go Close”

Once you have a conversation going, you should pretend that you have a text message from a friend and that you “have to go”. This kind of “interruption” will create an opportunity for you to say “I need to go, but I would like to continue this conversation, what are you doing on…” or you can say “I need to go, but I would like to continue this conversation, can I get your number?”

This is the perfect time to ask for her number, and because the conversation was interrupted, you will still be leaving her with the sense that you are not needy, and that you have a life, and you both have something to talk about.

With picking up women, practice makes perfect, so engage in the above strategy, and remember that knowing how to pick up women is a skill which can be learned through practice. Once you have undertaken this strategy a few times, you will feel much more comfortable and confident and other men will begin asking you for advice.

Gotta Be Confident!

To pick up women you MUST exude confidence. It’s the single most important thing you can do. If you don’t have confidence (or you don’t LOOK like you have confidence) you’re not going to get very far with women.

R. Don Steele, author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide during Courtship and Dating in a Men’s Health article on picking up women says that:

“Women want a man with steel balls. This desire is evolutionary. Females want someone who’s not going to run from a fight, a man who is confident in his ability to provide and protect.”

Here are a few tips on how to show that confidence that gets women’s attention.

Your walk. Women notice two things about you right away: Your clothes and your walk. You should always look like you know where you’re going and you should always walk slow and with purpose. Think of yourself as the most successful man alive and walk like it!
Eye contact. Lock eyes with her so that she feels connected with you. But don’t look all over the room. This will make you appear nervous and disinterested.
Accept compliments. If she gives you a compliment take it and say “thank you.” Don’t say something like, “You think so?” This makes you sound insecure (insecure people don’t take compliments because they don’t believe they deserve it).
Call in 48 hours. If she gave you her number call her 2 days later. Don’t call her the same day (which seems desperate) and don’t call later because it seems like you’re not interested.
Stay positive. When you’re talking about things (yourself especially) try not to be negative. Give the “best” version of yourself you can and try to talk about things in your life that you’re most passionate about.